Party Pooper

Posted by PrincessManda on ,
"Why'd you bring my shoes in here?" - Me
"Cause Riley won't stop wearing them." - Doug

I can officially say that Riley's 3rd birthday party was the first and last birthday party that I will ever throw for any of my children. Ever.

And while I am climbing up onto my soapbox please introduce me to at least one parent who has planned their kid's birthday and had an absolute blast doing so. Just one. That's all I ask.

Back in the fall Riley attended a few parties for his schoolmates and thus the idea of his birthday party was born. For weeks we had to hear how he was going to have presents and cake and that his birthday was in February. Did the poor kid even know what month we were in when he started talking incessantly about it? Of course he didn't. Would he start screaming hysterically when we told him it was November and he had several months to go until his party? Of course he did.

So after the holidays I decided to go for it and I dove headfirst into super-crazy planning mode. Since I don't typically want people in my house (ever), I found a nice little neighborhood venue called the Art Garage and thought, "this shouldn't be so bad."

That was mistake number one.

1. Plan on inviting 20+ kids and consider yourself lucky if five even show up. Silly, silly, silly me for assuming that if I attended your kid's boring ass party that you would do the same for me.

2. Mommy cliques. Mommy cliques are hell on earth. Enough said.

3. Slice of ham, anyone? Make enough food to feed an army, and be surprised when no one eats a god damn thing. I promised myself that after I attended a party where I was served one slice of ham and a cube of cheese that I would offer more for my guests.

4. Regifts. A child's birthday party isn't the proper venue to regift that old soccer ball that you have been trying to get rid of for the past thee years.

5. Oh I'm sorry did I forget to RSVP? If a party is being thrown at a venue chances are a headcount is needed.

6. Frazzled Fran. You all know this mother. Doesn't officially send you an email RSVPing, but tells you verbally that she will attend. You see her the day before the party and she doesn't acknowledge you or make eye contact. She then proceeds to show up with ten minutes left in the party with an unwrapped gift and a mouthful of excuses.

Did Riley have an absolute blast? Of course he did.

At the end of the day is that what is important here? Of course it is.

Would I still do it again? Hell no.


Dee said...
February 21, 2014 at 4:51 PM

I can say I saw it first hand. Haha, you nailed it! But Riley and the kiddos did have fun��

Kelli Stombaugh said...
February 21, 2014 at 11:53 PM


Up to 3 am the night before Jack's ninja party doing effin photo booth props that NO ONE used and ridiculous party favors from Pinterest. FUCK Pinterest.
Day of the party, husband is hungover, house and food is no where near ready, people are arriving an I have JUST got out of the shower (wet head and NO makeup!) embarrassing. Whatev.
I don't know if I will ever throw a party and be COMPLETELY ready before people show up...I hate that.

Love me... :)